Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This gyro tastes like lonliness
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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