Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
