Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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