i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
