hotel room ftw
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
