So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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