She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize