Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
