He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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