is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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