We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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