I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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