i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
