he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There's always time for handjobs
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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