whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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