SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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