apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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