So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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