So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Hippo gnu deer
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
