At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
