I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
