Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Drunk is a universal language darling
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
