Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
