what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
