Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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