I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
