One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
