I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
