did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
17 year olds will be the death of me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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