You're completely useless in the revolution.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
