why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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