I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
