The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize