Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just want nice things and good sex
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
