dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
