My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
