And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so let's talk penis.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
There's always time for handjobs
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
