needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm like, not good at living.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
