Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
