She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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