a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
