Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
