quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
