Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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