So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
