i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
