Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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