is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
