How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
