o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
