so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
