im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize