She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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