yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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