sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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