he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
