This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
