He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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